The Help

Like any other typical weekend my Grandmother and I try to go out to Breakfast and as always she chooses Snooze. For many of you that are not aware of this restaurant it is a cool 1970's themed place where the line always extends way out the door. As we were sitting there waiting for our order to be taken a family walks in with two small children, a white women and man, and then an African American women holding each of the children's hands. This is something I had never seen before up north, but in Cherry Creek this must be something prevalent. I thought to myself the connection between the African American woman and these two children is greater than the connection between the children and the parents. For instance the father was on the phone majority of the time "not to be disturbed" and the mother was constantly looking down at her phone as well as reading a magazine on Women’s Health. The woman was sitting between the two children coloring the color sheet and cutting up their food, waiting for it to cool down. This image was quite striking to me because i really felt sad for the children that their parents were way too busy than to raise these children on their own. Moreover, I think of the life the nanny lives, meaning where did she come from? Does she have children herself? Did she travel far to get here? 

 

In Introduction of Global Women by Barbara Ehrenreich it talks about the female underside of globalization. This piece was very eye opening to me especially when it went into the topic matter of how many rich and poor country households can rarely rely on males as the soul breadwinners. Women are needed out in the workforce to be able to provide for their families. In most other places aside from the United States women are forced to commute very far for work, and without their families. This was something that i found to be very shocking because this article even provided a story of a woman that had to travel and leave her family behind to be able to support her children. In turn usually they go work with families to raise their children and be their nannies. It is very upsetting because I am sure these women would love for nothing more than to raise their own children, but in fact having to raise another woman's as if they were her own. 

Moreover, something that I read that was quite surprising is the fact that before wealthy women used to flaunt their help and use them as wealth symbols. As for today the hired help is hidden and not as present as it was before. For women to show leisure was powerful but now women feel the need to employ the "super women" perspective. Which is the idea women that cooks, cleans, works, takes care if the children and the husband with grace. 

Another article that I was able to connect this situation to would be Real Men Join the Movement by Michael Kimmel. Through this article he talks about actively supporting women’s equality on the job or on the streets and by quietly changing their lives to create that equality at home. This statement alone made me think that if this was the case in third world counties would these women have to leave their homes to work for other families?? Would they be able to stay and raise their own children?? Why is it that the women have to travel and leave their children?? I mean Kimmel makes a good point when he said, “Men may oppressed by many things but gender is not one of them. For women they are oppressed from it all”. Do you see gender oppression frequently??? Work related??? Classroom related??? Also in popular movie from 2011 The Help which chronicles An aspiring author during the civil rights movement of the 1960s decides to write a book detailing the African-American maids' point of view on the white families for which they work, and the hardships they go through on a daily basis. For those of you that have watched this movie as well do you see the correlation??  Do you emphasize with these women? 

Heteronormativity in Commercials Unit 2

In their article, Sex, Power and Intimacy, Shaw and Lee define heteronormativity as the assumption of heterosexuality as the norm or normative behavior in any given setting.  Heteronormativity is seen in all different types of social settings.  One of the most prevalent places we experience this concept on a daily basis is in the media.   The media perpetuates all of the norms based on sexuality.  Shaw and Lee also define these norms to be followed as sexual scripts.  These sexual scripts are guidelines for how we are supposed to feel and act as sexual persons.  Many different media outlets create these sexual scripts and reinforce heteronormativity.  One example is within TV commercials.  This toothpaste commercial creates a very heteronormativity view on relationships.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-anmVGZv2c&list=UUIj3qdm8ZUQIcQKFTXq3PwA&index=3

The commercial creates a very heteronormative view on how couples are supposed to be.  This is a way that is socially constructing views on what couple are supposed to look like, and how they are supposed to live.  It talks about a man and a woman, and it even talks about their future children.  The commercial is creating a sexual script that tells the viewers that they are supposed to marry the opposite sex, and have children.  It romanticizes this particular couple as well, even though they are advertising toothpaste.  

Even children's networks have commercials that advertise heteronormative views.  Children learn so many of their social norms from the media, and these commercials create the heteronormative views.  Many of the shows on these networks advertise in their commercials about the crushes that the main characters have (on the opposite sex).  The article Elementary School Girls and Heteronormativity  by Myers and Raymond talks a lot about young girls crushes.  They discuss how these young girls have crushes and they are only reinforced by their peers if they are heteronormative ideas.  Many of Disney channel shows are based on plots about girls having crushes on boys.  This is a way that the TV is creating these sexual scripts for young kids. The article discusses how young girls only have crushes on boys, and these shows are just reinforcing and affirming those ideas.

Austin & Ally Commercial-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMP4Zy-xUyw This is a commercial for one of Disney's newer shows.  It's plot is very much based on a girl/boy relationship.  Also, the following picture is from the Disney Channel Show, Good Luck Charlie.  These shows and images are reinforcing the idea that all couples are heteronormative, and young kids, especially young girls learn a lot of their social scripts from shows like this.

From commercials directed towards young children to advertising to adults, heteronormativity is seen in every way.  Thinking about the bigger picture, I don't think I have ever seen a commercial advertising for a product, or kid shows that have a same-sex couple in it.  Almost all commercials advertise with heteronormative views.  Is this something new that will change as more and more states allow same-sex marriage, and it becomes more of a social norm to be all inclusive? We have started to see some shows that highlight same-sex couples, but they are not family-directed shows.  I think all children's shows have heterosexual couples.  Do you think there will be a time when we will see heteronormativity in children's shows? Are there ways that children can be shown other sexual scripts that are not all heteronormative?

Sex As A Double Standard

I’m sure we have all heard sayings about how “boys will be boys”, “men will be men”, or “men only want one thing”, and I’m sure that we’ve heard it from multiple sources; from our peers, from strangers as they pass by, the media, and even from family members.  I still remember when my mom sat me down when I was about sixteen and told me “women have to be the smart ones because men think with a whole other brain”.   

I’ve talked to my fiancé and some other male friends of mine about what their parents told them during “the talk” and all the men I talked to, said it was their dad giving them “the talk” and they were told to “be safe and don’t get into too much trouble”.  Really? How is it that women are told to protect themselves and that they have to be the ones using their head in these intimate situations but men are told to have fun and be safe?  This is a part of the double standard that we’ve addressed in class as well as in many of our readings. 

VERSES

In Jessica Valenti’s The Cult of Virginity reading, she discusses the double standard that is created with virginity as her main topic.   She discusses that virginity for women is seen as what makes a woman pure and “good” whereas for men to be masculine he can’t be a virgin, and in fact she’s found that there is no definition for a male virgin.  When I was talking to my fiancé he said that something that he has heard a lot is that if you are a man and you’re with a woman her “number” is three more than she says, because otherwise she could be seen as a slut, and for men their “number” should be divided by three, because they want to prove their masculinity.   Yikes!  IF this were true it would seem as if everyone has something to hide, but why?  Because this is how we’ve been taught to think.  The picture below is of a woman justifying that being a slut is okay because she acts like a man.  Therefore it is okay for men to have lots of sex.    

 

        The double standard was also addressed in the lecture I attended by Dr. Jackson Katz, who is a very well known anti-sexist male activist.  Although a lot of his talk was about gender violence and men's violence towards women it made me think about the double standard of sex.  In Dr. Katz's analogy he used a pyramid to describe men.  At the top are the men who perform acts of violence against women and at the bottom are the men who could recognize the violent behavior and  who could do something about it by educating other men.  This made me think about the double standard of sex because for men it is seen as a way to have power and to show masculinity but for women it isn't about power or femininity, but instead it is about staying as pure and "innocent" as possible because it is desirable.  

        So who needs to be more educated? Do you think men need to be educated to protect themselves as much as women are?  How do we change the mentality that sex isn't about masculinity and power and do we need to?  Or should we take a different approach and teach women that it is okay to have sex, that it doesn't take away from their "purity"?  Do you think that sex should have different associations and connotations that come along with it?  My mom always told me (in conversations I was slightly uncomfortable with at the time, but now appreciate) that it should be something a lot more special than dating a few weeks or months.  How are those kinds of associations different than what we see in society and do they need to change? If so then how? What are your thoughts?

Jason Collins and Sexuality In Sports

       On April 29th, 2013 Jason Collins publicly came out as gay in a cover story for Sport Illustrated. This feat marked him as the first male athlete from one of the four major sports leagues in the US to publicly announce a homosexual identity. Jason received wide-spread support not only from the basketball community, but from almost everybody. The only backlash he encountered was critique on Christian lifestyle from a few high profile conservative people.

          Why did it take this long for a sports player to come out? Will this inspire others follow in his footsteps?

         Men's and women's sports have always been highly homosocial settings. While more same-sex intimacies are accepted in these settings (such as patting each other on the butt, hugging), homosocial settings strive to reinforce homonormative values. These "gay" actions are ok as long as it is assumed that no one actually IS gay. Sports are also highly competitive and "masculine". Players are constantly competing to be the strongest, most "manliest" player. Michael Kimmel, in his artile "Masculinity as Homophobia" would argue that being gay in the sports world is looked down upon because stereotypical gay traits are "feminine" and un-manly. Thus the players constantly police each other to reinforce their own sexuality as well the other players. Michael Messner experienced this policing as a kid and discusses it in his "100% Straight" article. Messner found himself attracted to his friend Timmy on the basketball team, but felt as though he had to prove his masculinity by being physical with Timmy. Like Michael, most male athletes probably feel some level of attraction or bond to the men around them even though they identify as straight. Considering Messner's definition that masculinity is policed as the absence of femininity, If an athlete were to show any signs of these "gay" feelings, they would be less of a man considering Messner's definition that masculinity is policed as the absence of femininity. Thus, these relationships are more of a "bromance"in the New Homosocial setting like that which Romesburg argues in "Holy Fratrimony"


         This sexuality policing exists in many other homosocial spaces. One such space is the hip/hop industry. The rap scene is one that pushes away homosexuality and causes men to secure their sexuality by demonizing women. Only last year has the industry begun to show signs of acceptance with artists like Frank Ocean publicly coming out. Do you think it is more difficult to navigate the rap industry as a gay male?

        Back to Jason Collins. Jason stated that one of the major reasons he decided to come forward with his sexuality was the emotional toll he faced after the Boston Marathon bombing. If the bombing had not occurred, would Jason have come out? Possibly not and the NBA would remain without a gay leader. Thankfully due to his courage and leadership, future athletes will feel less threatened by these heteronormative policing in homosocial structures.

     Ladies, due to sports being a typically "masculine" activity, how do you feel these policing effects differ in female homosocial settings. Additionally, there have been prominent female athletes who have come out as lesbian, yet they have received less media attention. Do you think this is a factor of women's homosexuality being less "important" or is it a intersectional issue in which gay men get more attention because they are gay?

Bisexuality and the media.

My question is ‘why are bisexuals seen as unstable?’ According to Freud bisexuality is innate and we repress homosexual desires. Freud can sometimes be an unreliable source as much of his work lacks scientific evidence, but I agree with him on this front. If everybody was brought up to think that being gay was ‘the norm’ then straight people would be looked upon as ‘weird’ or ‘abnormal’, my belief is that society shapes our sexuality. This is exhibited through the portrayal of celebrities in modern day American media.

American media depicts bisexuality as extremely deviant and attention-seeking behavior. Popular celebrity figures are often criticized for bisexual behavior as it is seen as ‘slutty’ and as it correctly says in the article “Sex, Power, and Intimacy” people have the impression that bisexuals have sex all of the time and that they’re doing it with both men and women.

 Lindsey Lohan is a celebrity who has been slated for being bisexual, I have seen article after article headlined something like “Psychotic Lindsey ” or “Two toxic people can’t be together” referring to her and Samantha Ronson’s relationship. Funnily enough, the majority of the time this coincides with her bisexual ‘phases’. This directly relates to Jennifer Baumgardner’s article “What is Bisexuality?” because the media correlates bisexual bouts of behavior with unstable and deviant episodes of celebrities lives.

The media loves to play on this idea that bisexuals are crazy and too often they put up a picture of say, Lindsey Lohan for example, walking home from a night out drunk with a cigarette in hand stumbling around headlined “Lindsey Wasted Again.” the majority of the time the media portray this 'deviant' behavior as behavior which correlates with times when she is dating a girl. This implies that she is getting ‘wasted’ and looking so unstable because she is bisexual.

Magazines and newspapers have a habit of portraying bisexuality in this way and they never leave it out. Jessie J illustrates this point when she tweeted “Really annoys me when newspapers put 'Jessie J the bisexual singer' would they put 'Beyonce the straight singer'?? #sortitout." And she has a valid point. The identity of these bisexual celebrities is defined by their sexual orientation instead of their careers or talents.

The media labels celebrities and makes connections between unrelated things such as deviant behavior and sexuality and hopefully one-day sexuality will be viewed in a different light. In the large scale of things, why does it matter who is gay, straight or bisexual? 

Is Virginity Part of the Business Plan?

             Celebrities are constantly being put under the spotlight for just about everything. When a celebrity first hits fame, is virginity part of the business plan? It seems that most of the celebrities during my childhood came out and said, “I’m a virgin!” I think the reason why each of these stars made this statement is because their managers felt that it would make them come across as innocent, desirable and pure. When a star is labeled as a “virgin” they are looked at as sexy but not sexual, and their morality is held at a high standard.

For instance let’s look at Jessica Simpson.

            First of all, is that a cross around her neck in that sexy picture with the low cut top? Jessica Simpson, daughter of a Baptist minister, started her singing career touring Christian youth festivals and True Love Waits events. In Jessica Valenti’s article, The Cult of Virginity, she states, “Even when she went mainstream, she publicly declared her virginity—stating that her father had given her a promise ring when she was twelve years old—and spoke of her intention to wait to have sex until marriage.” In some cases religion can be a factor for some of these celebrities, however; I am starting to think that the reason these stars publicly announce their virginity is to become a desired sex symbol and “pure” young women which is extremely desirable to men. I have noticed that more women than men publicly announce their virginity because of the double standard; if men are out having sex it is considered a good thing. If women are out having tons of sex they are just looked at as “damaged goods.” As soon as a star announces his or her virginity the tabloids blow up, the press is writing articles left and right, interviewing the star etc. All this attention seems like it is good for business, no?

             By making this business decision, Jessica Simpson is not only gaining the attention of older men, she grabs the attention of parents who have young girls. Parents think, “As a singer, who is a virgin, her music must be appropriate to listen to.” Jessica Simpson became a young woman that young girls could look up to. Parents are able to use her as an example—“abstain from sex until marriage!” In Kristen Myers and Laura Raymond’s article, Elementary School Girls and Heteronormativity, they observed young girls talking about television, books, music, crushes, sex and dating all through a heteronormative lens. In this article, Myers and Raymond state, “Sex—‘kissing in bed’—was gross yet provocative. Despite its allure, these girls implied that sex was inappropriate for them. They also declared it inappropriate for the teenage celebrities who they believed were actually having sex.”

            I thought it was interesting that these young girls knew sex was not right for them at a young age. I wonder if the media has a role in all of this. Besides Jessica Simpson, Brittney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Hilary Duff, Taylor Swift, Joe Jonas, Tim Tebow all declared that they were virgins at one point. All these stars have a huge following of young girls especially. Does their virgin status make them more appealing to parents and their children? I think it’s all part of the business plan.

          Check out these links:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/exclusive/celebrity-virgins#slide-1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/04/celebrity-virgins-stars-who-spoke-about-being-virgin_n_2239884.html#slide=more267654