Just another Saturday morning with nothing to do. I flip through the channels and settle on the Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. Images and images of episodes I have already seen about a million times flash on the screen. I laugh out loud when Snooki is so wasted that she can't even see the beach in front of her and I shake my head when Ronny and Sam have another one of their famous fights. While all this happening, two roommates, Pauly and Vinny, cuddle in bed.
Pauly and Vinny's bromance is only one of several instances we have seen in the media within the last few years. According to Don Romesburg's "Holy Fratrimony: Male Bonding and the New Homosociality," we have reached a point where close relationships between two heterosexual men is becoming widely accepted. When you think about it, we have come a long way from the homophobic jokes on men who are good friends with other men. With more shows and movies like The Hangover, there is more acceptance and less ridicule on this type of friendship. Of course, this acceptance comes with knowing that these men are not having an kind of sexual interactions. So have we really progressed and entered into the "New Homosociality" or have we simply accepted a strictly heterosexual friendship among men?
Like I mentioned earlier, we reached a point where we are okay with these types of relationships, but have we truly changed the way our society sees homosexuality? Could two gay men have a bromance? What is new homosociality and what makes it so different from the old homosociality?
Very interesting post! I found myself asking a lot of the same questions myself when reading Romesburg's article. One influence I have found throughout many different "bromances" throughout pop culture is this hidden assumption that these relationships are kind of a joke. I feel while even though there is definitely an apparent emotional relationship between Vinny and Paul or even my friends at school who claim to be in a "bromance." I think because of the lack of sexuality being discussed, it allows for "bromancers"to avoid addressing their actual feelings. Ultimately, I do not think gay men could have a bromance at this point in society anyway because of the assumption that a bromance is between two straight men. I am very curious to see how bromances develop in the future and whether there has been any development of homosexual relationships that started just as a bromance.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with you when you say that these types of relationships are seen as a joke in our society. The bromances we see are essentially meant for comedic relief. And you're right. Unfortunately, I don't think gay men can have a bromance in our society. Thanks for the comment!
DeleteHi Cecilia! I thought your comparison of Vinny and Pauly to the Romesburg article was on point! In my experience, it was the first time I had seen straight men have such an emotional connection. I also think it is great that you mention how these bromances affect women. I have heard Vinny say to Pauly on one specific instance that it was "bros before ho's." BY this he meant that the relationship they had was more important than any girl. THis close bond between the two men has been another way thatmen are distancing themselves from women emotionally. In terms of homosocialty, I think bromances have always been around, I just think that they are becoming more visible and culturally acceptable. As our culture starts to encourage independence, men are trying to "do their own thing," which usually doesn't include women, and in doing this they are turning to other men for emotional connections.
ReplyDeleteYou're completely right Shuray. Bromances have alway been around, we've just learned to accept them now. And I'm glad you brought up the "bros before ho's" comment. I think, as a society, we've learned that bromances are strictly just for straight men who talk down on women. In a way, I think it's healthy that men are turning to other men for emotional connections like you said, but this is at the expense of women and their feelings. Thanks for the comment!
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your use of the Romesburg article discussing the acceptability of strong and affectionate male friendships but the complete negation of any relationally sexual component to those friendships. Your comments about the portrayals of women in these films and television series is frequently as the villain or the party-pooper, however what we don't see may be hurting our interpretation. When I read Romesburg's piece I connected it to Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that shows women how to build a relationship with their man that will serve as a counterpart to his bromances. Men and their relationships do not always negate their female relationships, but they create a different sphere. I wish you had brought in the Messner article about being 100% heterosexual because then you could have addressed the stigma attached to those bromances that continue into male male relationships.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you brought up the female's role in the so-called bromances. You make an excellent point in saying that females "serve as a counterpart to...bromances." You're absolutely right when you label woman as "villain[s]" and "party-poopers." I think that our media definitely makes us the bad guys when it comes to bromances. Thanks for your comment!
DeleteAfter reading this particular piece, I never thought of Pauly D and Vinny as having a bromance, but after thinking about it a little more, they do share a special bond with each other that many would question if they did not know the two characters very well. Bromance is something that as recently come up in the years and many people use this term to describe a relationship with two heterosexual men or sometimes homosexual men. This also brings up the point of "boy crush" and "girl crush." I have heard people recently say that their celebrity crush is so and so. This also has recently come up as well because people feel that they have to associate these certain things in order to not be considered homosexual. How do these terms come to be? How do they become so popular and used among our society?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you brought up the "boy crush," "girl crush" situation. As a society, we're so afraid of being seen as homosexual when we're not and it makes me question if people really do accept homosexuality. Things like the "bromance," "girl/boy crushes," and even the recently popular phrase "no homo" makes it so that no one would label a heterosexual as a homosexual. Just proves that people are still not comfortable with homosexuality and still value what other people think. You raise great questions that I still ask myself. Where did these terms come from and why are they so widely used?? Thanks for the comment!
DeleteCecilia, you make a very good point and many great observations of bromances within the media, particularly with your analysis of Hollywood through their representation of bromances in TV shows and movies. I agree with your point that men's bromances exclude women when you say which you represent by saying, "Women have been "pushed to the margins of these apparently progressive male relationships, find themselves represented in predictably boring ways--nag, supporter, sexy sidekick, mother, wife." With these bromances, men have created a new find a friendship that does not include women." This observation is dead on as men's bromances purposely exclude women and do so by representing women as a negative influence or an annoying interference with their male and male relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhat I also find interesting is how woman are viewed by men when they aren't necessarily phsycially excluded from the bromance. Within my own romantic relationship, I am included in my boyfriend's activities with his male buddies, however, while I may be "included" by physcially being present when he hangs out with his bros and has bro time, I am still viewed in a negative light if I interfere with their bro time by getting too involved in conversation or if I make a suggestion to do something other than play video games or watch violent movies all the time. When I make suggestions, I am still viewed as a nag or a complainer. This shows that even if men do not necessarily exclude women from their bro time, the woman is still excluded to some degree by not being respected for her suggestions or statements or still being ignored to a certain extent, which, ultimately, shows how men are not fully capable of including women in their male friendships.
I completely agree Brenda. While women aren't completely pushed aside when it comes to bromances, they are seen as the nagger or complainer like you said. I know that when I hang out with my male friends, they're always having sexually explicit "male conversations" and I'm just sitting there in silence. Bromances include us women physically, but emotionally, we're pushed aside. Thanks for the comment!
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